No surprise here: registration sucks again

Snivelsome Oldbean, The Stool

As one anonymous Mitchell attendee put it, “registration for classes has once again bent the student body over and fucked us vigorously in the ass.” The specters of inept scheduling and poorly implemented technology raised their ugly, but familiar, heads while conspiring to turn the experience into a nightmare for most Mitchell students. When questioned by Stool staff about their registration experience, a resounding majority of learners expressed their extreme distaste for the experience.

“It sucks balls,” said 2L Tony Overkilt, while waiting for his registration time to arrive. “I’m just watching all of the friendly ‘add’ buttons change into evil, evil ‘waitlist’ buttons, and it makes me want to punch something.”

“AAUGH!” screamed part-time 3L Carrie Unger, “Every class I need meets at the same time on Mondays! What the hell is the matter with the scheduling people?!”

Some students did not express their rage as vocally, but chose instead to mutter in the darker corners of Hachey Commons. One student was seen breaking pencil after pencil while softly whispering, “Advocacy…Advocacy…” He declined further comment.