Law review student chosen for “hotness”

Hans Olo, The Stool

Furthering the national perception surrounding society’s preferential treatment of good-looking persons, 2L James Reedlinger divulged to his study group last Wednesday that he was given a spot on law review for being “hot.”

“Well, I came in for a meeting with the decision-making people, and the first thing they asked me to do was take off my shirt,” recounted Reedlinger. “I didn’t understand why they were asking me to do that, but I thought it might be some kind of initiation thing, so I went along with it. I guess I was wrong.”

Wrong indeed. An anonymous source in the Mitchell law review told The Stool that Reedlinger’s writing sample and citation test were “horseshit.” “He didn’t even write about any of the topics,” said the source. “His piece consisted of a popsicle stick taped to a piece of notebook paper with the words ‘stick it to the law!’ written under it. People were laughing until the 8.5x11 glossy headshot fell out of the package.”

“We stand behind our decision,” said one male law review staffer. “I’m not gay, but I have to admit when I saw his picture, I got a chubby. You can’t just pass on someone like that.”