Matt Simonson, The Stool
After a particular vigorous drinking session following the completion of her torts final on Tuesday, Patricia Clark, a William Mitchell 1L, went home with a man who was “cute and nice” only to be shocked into sobriety by her partner’s genitals when he took his pants off.
“I was shocked,” said Clark. “I sat there and stared at it and I wasn’t sure what to do. I must have looked funny because he said ‘do you like what you see?’ I didn’t want to make him feel bad, but it was just so disgusting I started to cry. I grabbed my shirt and ran – thank God we were at his place.”
Clark described what she saw that night as “one of the most horrific and stunning things I’ve ever been exposed to. It looked like a mutant – plus when he took his pants off I got this sudden waft of hair creme and African ointments. Oh God, I just threw up in my mouth a little. Excuse me.”
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Finals used as excuse for general bitchiness
Hans Olo, The Stool
When 2L Mark Shields was asked by his girlfriend if he would take out the trash this past Monday, Shields was having none of it. “I told her I’m in the middle of finals and I can’t do every little task she has for me right now. I said I need to study, not act like a fucking maid for once. Of course I was in the middle of watching Flight of the Navigator on TBS at the time, but I was still stressed.”
Many students like Shields find finals to be a time when they can be a dick, but still get away with it. “It’s especially true if you’re dealing with someone who has never been in grad school,” said Connie Xang, a Mitchell 3L. “If my roommate has music on and it’s bugging me around finals time, I’ll tell her to turn it the fuck off even if I’m done with my tests for the semester. If she doesn’t do it, I drop the guilt trip on her like a truck. The music always turns off after that.”
“The best part about being a bitch during finals is, when you apologize after they’re done, people always forgive you instantly,” said part-time 4L Liz Granger. “They’re like ‘oh I knew you were under a lot of stress. It’s okay.’ Finals ARE stressful, but, still.”
When 2L Mark Shields was asked by his girlfriend if he would take out the trash this past Monday, Shields was having none of it. “I told her I’m in the middle of finals and I can’t do every little task she has for me right now. I said I need to study, not act like a fucking maid for once. Of course I was in the middle of watching Flight of the Navigator on TBS at the time, but I was still stressed.”
Many students like Shields find finals to be a time when they can be a dick, but still get away with it. “It’s especially true if you’re dealing with someone who has never been in grad school,” said Connie Xang, a Mitchell 3L. “If my roommate has music on and it’s bugging me around finals time, I’ll tell her to turn it the fuck off even if I’m done with my tests for the semester. If she doesn’t do it, I drop the guilt trip on her like a truck. The music always turns off after that.”
“The best part about being a bitch during finals is, when you apologize after they’re done, people always forgive you instantly,” said part-time 4L Liz Granger. “They’re like ‘oh I knew you were under a lot of stress. It’s okay.’ Finals ARE stressful, but, still.”
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