Hans Olo, The Stool
With the summer months settling in and many Mitchell students enjoying non-classroom time, the information binge that comprises the regular school year has finally culminated into a brain dump for those attempting to cling to what sanity they have left.
“Yeah, you could have asked me anything about insurance law after my final, but I don’t know a fucking thing now,” said 3L Brad Stevens. “I do remember that calculating coinsurance numbers can suck my balls.”
Stevens’ sentiments ring true for many students. University of Syracuse social scientist Jann Hutche calls the phenomenon a defense mechanism. “Essentially students are resting their minds and focusing on those things they weren’t able to enjoy as much during the school year. It’s very common.”
Other Mitchell students seem more determined to move on than do others. “When I finished WRAP I wiped my ass with the Kelley case and burned the whole goddamned thing,” said 2L Michael Carlsson. “I can’t wait for Advocacy!”
Friday, June 8, 2007
3L contemplates suit after being “ripped off” by area weather forecasting
Veronica Corningstone, The Stool
Matt Hennessy was waiting for the planet to explode this past Thursday morning after watching a local weather forecast dealing with potentially severe conditions that were supposed to crop up later that day. “The way they were talking about it, we were supposed to have he storm of the century,” said Hennessy, who lives in St. Anthony. “Then nothing happened but a little wind. It was a complete rip-off, and I expect to be compensated for the batteries and bottled water I bought.”
Hennessy admits purchasing a pallet of Ice Mountain bottled water might have been hasty, but is adamant he be compensated for his newly acquired battery collection. “What am I going to do with 32 C batteries?” asked Hennessy. “I thought we were going to be without power for months. I even bought a taser in case there were looters. Channel 4 is going to be VERY unhappy when they see what I have in store for them.”
When asked what charges he plans to file against WCCO, Hennessy replied, “It’s not just Channel 4, it’s all of them. They all suck, and I’m going to own them with a huge suit. We didn’t even get any lightning, dude! Aren’t you pissed?! You should be. I’m super pissed.”
Matt Hennessy was waiting for the planet to explode this past Thursday morning after watching a local weather forecast dealing with potentially severe conditions that were supposed to crop up later that day. “The way they were talking about it, we were supposed to have he storm of the century,” said Hennessy, who lives in St. Anthony. “Then nothing happened but a little wind. It was a complete rip-off, and I expect to be compensated for the batteries and bottled water I bought.”
Hennessy admits purchasing a pallet of Ice Mountain bottled water might have been hasty, but is adamant he be compensated for his newly acquired battery collection. “What am I going to do with 32 C batteries?” asked Hennessy. “I thought we were going to be without power for months. I even bought a taser in case there were looters. Channel 4 is going to be VERY unhappy when they see what I have in store for them.”
When asked what charges he plans to file against WCCO, Hennessy replied, “It’s not just Channel 4, it’s all of them. They all suck, and I’m going to own them with a huge suit. We didn’t even get any lightning, dude! Aren’t you pissed?! You should be. I’m super pissed.”
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