Molly Isringhousen, The Stool
According to 1L Amy Harris, her knowledge of the law is being summarily dismissed by many different “stupid” people. When a family discussion turned into a debate concerning a contract, Harris became irate when no one asked for her opinion on the matter.
“They just all sat around talking with each other like I wasn’t in law school or something!” said a visibly agitated Harris. “I was like HELLO! I’m the one in law school here! You people don’t know anything – you don’t even know about promissory estoppel or any of that other stuff! They just looked at me and kept talking. It’s like they refuse to take me seriously or something. I hate them so much!”
According to Harris, this theme has played itself out in many areas of her life. “I was at Starbucks yesterday getting a Coke when I heard the people behind me talking about buying a new house, so I told them all about defeasible estates. They didn’t even say thank you when I was done. Whatevs.”
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Board of Trustees abandons new school mascot due to school's conflict of interest with weiner industry
Corriander Von Vanderbling
Editor in Chief
A William Mitchell Production
Board of Trustees abandons new school mascot due to school's conflict of interest with weiner industry
Letter from the Editor
A new decade, a new source of beryllium
My agents in the former Soviet republics have unearthed a cache of beryllium such that the Von Vanderbling name will forever be linked to this, the most popular of all alkaline earth metals. With the ensuing financial windfall I plan to take this vaunted news organization to unprecedented heights – children will weep in their beds at the mere thought of our awe-inspiring power. Women will stand up to urinate when contemplating the pancreas-crushing force of our collective will in modern media.
Hansfeld, my Palestinian houseboy, assures me I will soon be able to halt the nervous tugging on my scrotum in which I’ve recently engaged as a habit when poring over my financial numbers. Lift your glasses with me dear readers! To liberty! To diplomatic immunity!
Corriander Von Vanderbling
Editor in Chief
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The Stool is a satirical newspaper. The Stool uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The content of this website - graphics, text and other elements - is (c) Copyright 2009 by The Stool, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. The Stool is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.