Awkward bathroom conversation narrowly avoided

3L Mark Johnston found himself thrust into a potentially uncomfortable situation as he visited the restroom during the 10 minute mid-point break of his two-hour family law class last Tuesday.

“I was at the urinal in mid stream when the prof walked in and pulled up to the station at the end of the row. I knew I would have to either wait until he was nearly done washing his hands to start my shaking routine, or I would have to pinch it off right then so I could be sure my hands were washed and I was gone before he finished.”

Johnston feared what many men fear – a forced 30 to 90 second conversation about something mundane while holding, or closely appurtenant to holding, one’s penis.

“It’s especially bad when it’s a prof,” explained Johnston. “Because what do you really have in common besides pissing and your class? It’s not really a get-to-know-you-better situation, and asking a question about class is likely to lead to a longer discussion than you’re really after.”

Experts in social behavior and bathroom etiquette advise that men who face this situation do what Johnston ultimately decided to do: wait. “It might seem a bit strange to be standing there for so long,” said sociologist and author Werner Huxley. “However, if you coincide your flush and hand washing with your opponent’s hand drying, you have the best chance of appearing normal without looking like you’re running away. By the time you’re done washing, you’ll be in the clear.”