3L reaches breaking point

Beaver Hunt, The Stool

When 3L Rachel Wyland had enough of the constant barrage of sexist and racist remarks made by Professor Mitsubishi in a useless, non-bar class last fall, she decided to do something about it. “He would always make shitty comments in every class and follow them up with ‘Did you know I have tenure?’, as if that made it okay,” said Wyland. “I’m not easily offended, but when you go to class every week and have to sit and listen to your prof make comments about how women are stupid, it starts to piss you off.”

Wyland came to her breaking point during one class discussion when Mitsubishi asked 2L Troy Larkin and 3L Amy Bills to argue opposite sides of an issue, during which Mitsubishi asked Larkin to: “tell us why Amy isn’t an ignorant slut.” “That was enough for me, so I said: ‘how about you tell us why your daughter isn’t a dumb whore?”

According to reports, Mitsubishi then flew into a rage and proceeded to sprint up to Wyland’s seat and shriek ‘I HAVE TENURE!!! I HAVE TENURE!!!’”.

The Stool has learned that Professor Mitsubishi is not teaching any classes at all this semester. After digging deeper, one unnamed source told us “He’s on a forced sabbatical to a mental institution that specializes in rage disorders.”