Awkward space baffles maintenance staff

Hans Olo, The Stool

The open space outside of rooms 123 and 125 has flummoxed both staff and faculty alike since the facility’s unveiling. It seems the flotsam and jetsam of the furniture collection Mitchell has accrued through the years has been tried and denied placement in this most pesky of areas.

“I’m not sure what to put there,” said Jan Lawerence, a maintenance staff manager. “We’ve tried pretty much every conceivable combination of furniture we have available in that area, and nothing has worked. We’ll find something though – don’t you worry.”

Some Mitchell students seemed nonplussed by the shifting furniture phenomenon. “I’ve noticed that they have different stuff [in that area] a lot, but I guess I don’t really care about it,” said 4L Tanya Schiffley. “I just sit in the caf area with my friends before class anyway. I leave that sunken leather chair area with the desk-arm-things for the 1Ls.” Others were more opinionated. “Do they have nothing better to do all day than to move furniture around? I mean, it took them like three weeks to paint that wall upstairs red. What the hell do they do anyway?”

Whatever the case, the furniture migrations seem in no danger of stopping anytime soon. New among the furniture acquisitions for this term are the 29-foot Knights of the Round Table-branded circular tables no one likes sitting at, and don’t really fit anywhere. “Don’t get me started on those ridiculous tables,” said 3L Marci McCorman. “Maybe they’ll hand out armor and swords so we can feel more at home when we’re sitting at them.”