Blue Book is Alien

Franz Pincer, The Stool

According to unnamed sources, a triangulation of bizarre, yet related instances revealed The Blue Book’s origins may actually be Outer Space. As 3L Law Review Assistant Editor Arlene Bradford struggled to keep the voices in her head to a dull roar early this week, she was compelled to visit an L. Ron Hubbard website.

“I wanted to find that E-meter thing, you know, to reduce stress.” Explained Bradford adding, “I wound up doing all this research on the background of Dianetics, and the aliens who founded the earth. It turns out The Blue Book was their first published chronicles! It’s a guide!”

But not the guide law students have been tormented with using throughout legal writing classes, no. According to Bradford, The Book is an encrypted manual from aliens that has been horribly misinterpreted. Further investigation revealed that, if read correctly, The Blue Book could provide detailed instructions to something. If followed exactly, it should lead to inner peace, and a state much like a perpetual drug-coma.

Allegedly non-believers can find no such messages in the book and, for those who misuse it, the outlook is quite grim. “It can turn you into a complete mess – a babbling, confused, angry mess,” warned Bradford. The remaining editorial staff was too angry and confused to comment.