What’s so funny: An Interview with Franz Pincer

Franz Pincer, The Stool

TS: Franz, you’re a funny mo’ fo’.

FP: Thanks, you’re pretty sweet too.

TS: How do you come up with such amazing brilliance all the time?

FP: Well, really I rely on my ability to appreciate life’s little ironies. Take Law School for example. We all hate it, complain about it, talk about burning it down and what not, but at our core each of us knows we are here because we chose to be. We studied, applied, tested in, hoped and pined for it. So in a way, we are all captive members of our own private hells. See? Irony!

TS: What about the students who feel they had no other options?

FP: They are obviously semi-retarded or completely socially retarded. You always have another option. You could have taken too many hits of something and fried your brain, or taken off for parts unknown, or tried B-school, or just told your overbearing dad to eat it. No one should blame their lack of direction and/or ballsack on deficient choices. That’s just retarded.

TS: What do you do when you aren’t writing for TS?

FP: I am a hit man. Now get the fuck away and stop asking me stupid questions. Naw, just kidding. I am a law professor, what did you think?