Top college recruit red-shirted at Mitchell

Hans Olo, The Stool

Following an intensive and successful recruiting season, senior professors and administration have announced their decision to redshirt incoming 1L Jeremy Timms next year to prolong his law school eligibility. “I’m thrilled to be attending a law school with such a long and distinguished history,” said Timms. “I know the profs have my best interests in mind.”

The move comes as a shock to some students currently on moot court – an area in which Timms has expressed an early interest. “From what I’ve heard, Jeremy could really help us out next year – but if that’s how it’s going to be, then we’ll adapt,” said 3L Dwight Mason.

“Jeremy is a recruit we can’t afford to rush through the normal academic method,” Dean Easley told us. “When you have that much raw talent, it’s a good idea to take things slow as the maturing process sets in.”

Certain William Mitchell faculty are excited to have the dynamic Timms in their classes, pointing to a whopping 179 LSAT score and an exceptional entrance essay. Others seem willing to wait for their crack at the recruit. “I don’t give a shit what they do as long as he pays his tuition,” said Professor Michael Jordan. “If my checks start bouncing, then I’ll have an opinion.”