Aging 1L distracted by young women

Snivelsome Oldbean, The Stool

A dejected Herman Whitney, 56, recently attempted to explain his Fall '06 transcript.

"I go to class every day, but it’s really hard to pay attention to the professors," said Whitney. "I mean, have you seen what the girls are wearing these days? It's shameful!"

"This young woman, Amanda, sits in the front row – she can't be much older than 23. She was wearing a skirt that was so short that I could see almost all of her luscious, silky smooth legs. And then there's Katrina, whose shirt was so low-cut that it didn't leave anything to the imagination...her ample, milk-white bosom was right there in my face when I turned around, staring at me like the pillows of the gods..."

Fidgeting with his laptop case, Whitney suddenly became almost too addled to speak. "Anyway, shameful. Totally shameful. I've gotta go," he said.