Professor Dayton: “Elder Law is my bitch”

Frank Herrbert, The Stool

A normally sedate and proper Professor Dayton was witnessed blowing off a little steam at Billy’s on Thursday night. “She was obviously feeling pretty good,” said 3L Florence Hunt. “She was with a few people, and was doing a lot of yelling. I couldn’t hear what she said, but she was obviously happy because she was toasting her table every 15 seconds and laughing.”

1L Mark Haeine was seated in a booth adjacent to Dayton’s. “She was definitely doing all the talking,” said Haeine. “At one point she said, ‘That’s right, I said it – elder law is my bitch! No one fucks with my bitch! It’s mine! I own it!’ Then she tried to toast her group, but they looked pretty shocked and weren’t acting fast enough or something, so she just hit her glass against theirs on the table. Then she goes, ‘It’s a toast, sluts! Get happy!”

Professor Dayton was not available for comment at the time of this writing.