Franz Pincer, The Stool
According to school sources last week, Students in Lester Dong’s online insurance class reported being in agreement that, as adjuncts go, he’s pretty douchy.
The alleged douchiness surpasses the usual Professorial arrogance, spitefulness, stodgy refusal to refrain from taking attendance and the ilk. For students in Dong’s domain, the douche-factor is “pretty high” according to sources.
“I think he just makes shit up as he goes along.” Said 2L Bryan Fligg, adding “it doesn’t even make sense like, half the time! He just showboats and talks about his fat neck. It’s fucking retarded.”
Complaints of other douchy adjuncts are common among students during the school year, but the best ones tend to come out during exams, as noted by school reports.
4L Jenessa Green was reported ranting for close to an hour in Hachey about her corporations adjunct. “I think this bitch seriously expects us to become total experts in engineering to answer a multiple choice hypothetical on fucking ethics! What?! Where am I?”
While informal surveys continue to churn out reports of “kinda douchy” to “complete doucheface”, the WMCL online auto-generated surveys show record acclaim for the Mitchell Mix of faculty, staff, and adjuncts
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Board of Trustees abandons new school mascot due to school's conflict of interest with weiner industry
Corriander Von Vanderbling
Editor in Chief
A William Mitchell Production
Board of Trustees abandons new school mascot due to school's conflict of interest with weiner industry
Letter from the Editor
A new decade, a new source of beryllium
My agents in the former Soviet republics have unearthed a cache of beryllium such that the Von Vanderbling name will forever be linked to this, the most popular of all alkaline earth metals. With the ensuing financial windfall I plan to take this vaunted news organization to unprecedented heights – children will weep in their beds at the mere thought of our awe-inspiring power. Women will stand up to urinate when contemplating the pancreas-crushing force of our collective will in modern media.
Hansfeld, my Palestinian houseboy, assures me I will soon be able to halt the nervous tugging on my scrotum in which I’ve recently engaged as a habit when poring over my financial numbers. Lift your glasses with me dear readers! To liberty! To diplomatic immunity!
Corriander Von Vanderbling
Editor in Chief
About The Stool
- The Stool
- The Stool is a comprehensive news source with offices in seven countries and a near-fanatical readership in Mozambique and parts of Burma. Look for new editions of The Stool every Thursday.
Disclaimer
The Stool is a satirical newspaper. The Stool uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The content of this website - graphics, text and other elements - is (c) Copyright 2009 by The Stool, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. The Stool is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.