Summer students quick to point out they’ll graduate sooner than everyone else

Hans Olo, The Stool

With summer break in full swing for most Mitchell students, those taking summer classes feel confident and crafty in their decision to eschew time off in favor of academic expediency. “Those poor bastards,” said 3L-to-be Tyler Parrish. “They’re going to be slaving away for an entire semester longer than I will. I’ll be laughing my ass off at them as I study for the Bar exam.”

Those who elect to stay away from the classroom for the summer seem unperturbed by the thought of finishing their degree requirements at the regular time. “I don’t know,” 2L-to-be Anne Keinie told us. “I guess they can do what they want, but burning yourself out to finish a few months early seems pretty absurd to me.”

When confronted with this line of reasoning, many summer-goers offered to “throw down” with those that disagree with them. “We’ll see how they change their song when they’re sweating out their long papers while I…am not,” said 3L-to-be Betsy Swanson. “Nobody puts Baby in a corner!”