New library policy leads to disaster

Jon Michael, The Stool

Just weeks after instituting a new policy allowing food and drink into the library at Mitchell, disaster struck. According to library personnel, instead of pouring out unwanted coffee or other beverages in a drinking fountain drain or other suitable place, students have been discarding their unwanted liquids by pouring them directly into the N.W. reporter hard copy books.

"The books are completely ruined," said one library official. "We KNEW this would happen if we let food and drinks [into the library]. Last week I found a half-eaten slice of pizza that someone had used as a bookmark, then abandoned on a table. Who does this? It's a disaster."

"I love the new policy," said 3L Lois Anderson. "If I have extra food or drink that I don't want after I'm done studying, I'll just pour it in an air vent or leave it under my chair -- that way I don't have to bother with putting it in a trash can and contributing to global warming."

Library officials are also concerned about a new trend that sees students bringing multiple pairs of pants with them for a library study session, then essentially using them as adult diapers instead of getting up to use the restroom. "When I'm studying, that's what I'm doing. I don't have to get up. Pants are cheap, tuition is not."