Simple solutions found for in-class boredom

Snivelsome Oldbean, The Stool

As the years wear on and classes become more and more repetitive, boredom tends to take over the minds of upper-classmen. 3L and 4L students tend to let their minds wander in class, especially when discussing the finer points of state action for the three hundredth time. Some Mitchell students have come up with interesting ideas to whisk away the boredom blues.

3L Barry Svenvoldson is proud of his system. “It’s such a simple thing, I’m really amazed that I didn’t think of it years ago,” said Svenvoldson. “I just head to my car during the ten-minute break, and find my whiskey flask. I knock down about four shots of Beam, and by the time I get back to class, I’m shitfaced! It really makes that last hour fly by.”

“Some people don’t like it,” Svenvoldson continued. “I try not to be too disruptive, but I figure that my being absolutely plowed in class is a deterrent for professors to lightning bolt me. One of my drunk, rambling answers is all they need to hear, and then they never call on me again. Then there’s that Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers group. They always bug me, but I just tell them, ‘Hey! I’m not a lawyer yet! Don’t be so concerned!’”

Barry asked for a small break during our interview, but never returned. Reports suggest that he passed out in his car.

4L Natasha Lithenstein has a similarly effective means of coping with boredom. “I learned Barry’s method last year, but I decided to elaborate on it a bit. I go out to my car on the break as well, but instead of drinking, what I do is put my key in the ignition, turn it, back out of my parking space, and go home. It seems to work well for me.”