Hiring of new dean ends student’s parking spot loophole

Snivelsome Oldbean, The Stool
Most students and faculty were happy to hear of the hiring of Eric Janus as Dean of Students at William Mitchell. One student in particular, however, was not so thrilled. 2L Dean Jannisek had to give up an incredible parking spot.

“For the last few months, I’ve had the best parking spot in the lot,” said Jannisek. “It’s the one marked ‘reserved for Dean of the College’, and it sucks that I have to give it up!”

As it turns out, Jannisek was the only person – student or faculty – with the first name “Dean”. “It was a loophole, for sure, but I’ve been spending all of my time here learning how to argue,” said Jannisek. “It wasn’t hard to explain to security that I was, technically, the ‘Dean of the College’”.

Jannisek was dismayed to drive into the William Mitchell parking lot and find that his spot had been taken. “It’s a long walk from the Grotto lot, and it’s starting to get cold,” said Jannisek. “I’ll just have to pony up the cash for a parking permit or find a new loophole, I guess.”